P-Wing

Gamblor Reviews Brad’s ReReview of Spiderman PS4

• By Gamblor
• September 14, 2018
• 3 Comments

Here at GCL, we welcome those with differing opinions.  No matter what one reviewer thinks about a game, a fresh perspective from another community member is always appreciated.

When I first reviewed PS4’s exclusive hit Spiderman, we lived in a different time.  Back then, it was ok to praise a Saturday morning comic book adventure even though it portrayed the criminal justice system in a positive light.  Back then, it was ok to look at a light hearted, family friendly romp and say “Hey, this game’s ok.”

That all changed the moment Kotaku opened my eyes and showed me what a terrible game Spiderman PS4 really is.

Spiderman PS4 portrays police officers as honest, hard working human beings who are just trying to protect citizens from dangerous criminals, and Spiderman happily works with them as both friend and consultant, providing them with valuable crime fighting assistance.

What the fucking shit?

Where are all the racist white cops shooting unarmed black kids?  Where are the demonic musical cues that play as corrupt officials abuse their power and use their technology to spy on innocent immigrants?  It’s like the game’s based on a 1960’s comic book or something.

The world is a different place now, it’s much more aware of its own depressing flaws.  All games should be socially aware, and so should all game reviews.  Let’s go over Brad’s problematic write up.

Brad’s “The Gameplay” section: 0/10

Gameplay’s all about how the player interacts with a game’s playable characters and environment.  Brad missed a golden opportunity here to mention how Spiderman’s environment lacks modern social problems like racism and bigotry.  He could’ve said something like “Spiderman’s wearing a suit, so the police might incorrectly think he’s black. Why aren’t the police constantly shooting at him like they would in real life?”  Not very observant, Brad.  Way to ignore the entire Black Lives Matter movement and set equality back 40 years.

Brad’s “Graphics” section: 0/10

Game graphics are all about appearance and perception.  In Brad’s section about graphics, he fails to have a deeper conversation about how women are portrayed as sex objects in the media and are forced to live up to an unobtainable standard of thinness and beauty. Apparently Brad thinks it’s ok Spiderman doesn’t address these issues and that women should be paid less than men.

Brad’s “Sound” section: 0/10

Some LGBTQIAPK people write music.  Does Spiderman’s music have any LGBTQIAPK musicians in its credits?  I don’t know.  Does Brad know?  I don’t know that either, because Brad doesn’t talk about them.

Brad’s “The Story” section: -53/10

Dear lord, what went wrong here.  The plot of the game could have been about Kingpin (drawn to look like Donald Trump) kicking black tenants out of New York apartments and turning illegal immigrants into soylent green to feed to his army of ultra racist white cyborg cops…but it wasn’t.  Not a peep from Brad.  All I see in his review is the desire to reinstate slavery.

The Gamblor Bottom Line™: You Might Wanna Rethink This/10

Not sure what Brad was thinking here, posting this review in the current social climate.  It’s not horribly written, just completely tone def.  I don’t think he should be jailed, but if he has an upcoming Netflix series, I think it should be cancelled and he should be banned from all future public appearances.  But it’s not up to me to punish him.  It’s up to his victims (the GCL readers) to decide when he can resurface from his shame hole.  That’s what the American justice system’s really about. Letting traumatized victims banish wrongdoers until they say they feel better.